The afternoon smelled of brick; I used to scratch the wall with my knees and nails on my way to the sea.
My blood stained my socks and fed the roots of the orange tree Mama planted one spring before my seventh birthday. Soon after, the tree grew blood oranges.
I used to dream I would reach the port before crickets would serenade the white cement between the bricks, and the evening wind would sew the wounds from the face of the wall.
I needed a God to lead me to the sea. In Mama’s stories, there were too many Gods leading souls to heaven. I did not want to go to heaven. I wanted to go to the sea.
I used to fail. I did not understand what failure is. The next afternoon, little ducks embroidered on the rim of my blue dress, I would start climbing the wall again.
One day I thought I would get to the port and run straight into the sea.
Little did I know that the day would come when I would first look into your eyes. The sea inside your eyes is like laundry left to dry on a wire. Long red poles floundered left and right like the wings of a moribund bird. The body of a boat eroded by salt, and by the kisses of the women of your past agonized in green and blue.
Your eyes: on the right, your love for me, and on the left, your hate for the world.
Did I say your love for me? You see, over time, I had to reconsider that formulation. Your feelings resembled more a never-ending animal magnetism than love.
Let me make one thing clear. No one person is sufficient to drive all demons from another one. You can think of Goethe’s elective affinities if you wish. I cannot save you from you. You need to help me. I can carry this conversation into the night and win.
Ah, winning! The day I understood I can win, I stepped into hell.
That day was the day I lost my innocence and, with that, paradise. Since then, my blood has never stained my socks. The orange tree has never grown red-fleshed oranges, and Mama stopped telling stories.
featured image: Gabriela Marie Milton, Greece.
My books (Only English)
#1 Amazon bestseller, Passions: Love Poems and Other Writings (Vita Brevis)
#1 Amazon Bestseller, Women: Splendor and Sorrow (Vita Brevis)
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Please read other reviews here:
Woman: Splendor and Sorrow: Love Poems and Poetic Prose by Gabriela Marie Milton in Portland Book Review
Woman: Splendor and Sorrow: Love Poems and Poetic Prose by Gabriela Marie Milton in Manhattan Book Review
Passions: Love Poems and Other Writings in San Francisco by Gabriela Marie Milton in San Francisco Book Review
Passions: Love Poems and Other Writings by Gabriela Marie Milton In Manhattan Book Reviews
Christina Schwarz, the author of the New York Times Bestseller “Drowning Ruth.”
“With lush language and lavish imagery, Gabriela Marie Milton. evokes a fantastic world ripe with emotion.”
Christina Schwartz
Edited Collections:
#1 Amazon Bestseller, Hidden in Childhood (Literary Revelations)
#1 Amazon bestseller,Petals of Haiku (Literary Revelations)
#1 Amazon Bestseller, Wounds I Healed: The Poetry of Strong Women (EIF)
