fires #poem #poetry

fires burn rocks in the mountains
fountains in the parks burn our hearts
I dip my hands into the seven parallels of love
I spin the planetary souls on both my arms
a bird pulls at its feathers in the mirror
the wilderness of autumn
puts on its lipstick

insanity throws stones into a garbage can
exiled from the imagination of Seville
Don Juan lures empty frames inside a bar
your heart meanders among marble stars
scents of flowers, heavy chainsΒ 
poetry burns our lips
lonely scavengers of night
you and I

draft
@short-prose-fiction (Gabriela M.)

image: Brina L. Bunt; Shutterstock; [link]

 

55 thoughts on “fires #poem #poetry

  1. Good morning, G.
    For a draft this feels very complete. With such a wide variety of images–the fountain, the bird, the bar, the garbage can, even planetary souls–the poem feels as if it captures everything that is happening at once in a single moment. I feel I’m glimpsing different angles of a complete world in these few lines.
    Happy Monday,
    David

     
    1. Good morning David.
      Thank you so much for your kind words. No need to say how much I appreciate them. You know that. I just feel like I am going in too many directions at once. Perhaps not if you say so. That makes me happier.
      Anyway, thank you again from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read and comment. Thanksgiving is almost here.
      I am most grateful for your friendship, David.
      Happy Monday πŸ™‚

       
      1. As ever, you are entirely welcome (as if it could ever be otherwise). I can understand your concern about going too many directions at once, but I really do think the poem works nicely. Far from disjointed, in my opinion it serves to capture the awesome scope of how many things happen at once around us that we are unaware of. It provokes a mindfulness of that reality for me. Everyone sometimes feels like a lonely scavenger even though a world of other fires are also burning.

        I also am grateful for your friendship, and your name will definitely be included in my prayers of thanks this Thursday.

         
      2. Thank you so much, David. Your kind words are reassuring.
        You will be in my prayers too.
        Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

         
  2. Gabriela, I love how you open this with lines that so beautifully pull us into the poem’s vastness, The fire that burns us even through water, and then this:

    “I dip my hands into the seven parallels of love”
    This nearly knocks me over with its beauty, Like an antidote to the fire.

    and this:
    “the wilderness of autumn
    puts on its lipstick”
    Wow.

    And then the way it finishes, with this burning poetry and burning desire between these hearts scavenging for each other. Truly, it’ s utterly breathtaking. If this is your draft, I cannot imagine even what the finished product would be like. Isn’ t it bizarre, how we can think of our own writing in terms of what is missing or what should be different, when often others reading it see only how amazing it is. I do like this idea of posting something as a draft, as so many of my poems get banished and left because I can’ t quite seem to get them to a point that I feel that they are not a draft.

    Another beautiful poem dear friend, I’ m so glad to get to read your work. πŸ’–πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’

     
    1. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your beautiful words my fabulous Rachel.
      I often think that my writings need more work. Probably most of us do. I don’t know.

      I am so glad you enjoyed the poem. I am grateful for every word you wrote. Don’t leave your beautiful poems to wait for you too long. They need you Rachel.
      Sending you plenty of hugs and love. I hope everything is going well sweetheart
      πŸŒΈπŸ’β€οΈπŸŒΉπŸŒΊβ€οΈπŸ’œ

       
      1. You know you are so welcome, your poems deserve every word I write about them, and a lot more, too.
        Sending you plenty of love and hugs too. I know Thanksgiving is coming really soon, I’ ll be thinking of you, it’ s not a holiday that we celebrate here xoxoxox

         
      2. Thank you so much, Rachel. I know you do not celebrate Thanksgiving.
        It means a lot to me that you will be thinking at me. I wish you a beautiful rest of the week.

         
      3. I … am… glad.. they …are … going. 🌸🌺🌻❀️

         
      1. I already read it sweetheart. I enjoyed it very much. And you had my like.
        “Always Question, Always Wonder”

         

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